1) Camera Exercise (created by Dr. Josette ten-Have de Labije):

Part 1: Situation

Describe the situation which triggered a response you would like to examine because it is inconsistent with the way you wanted to behave.

Describe it as if you were videotaping the scene...what does it look like from behind the camera?

Describe precisely what happened when, who said what, etc. without judging or assuming what someone was thinking or what the other's motives were.

Part 2: Reactions

Assess whether you felt anger, sadness, happiness, anxiety in this situation. Rank each possibility with a yes or a no.

Assess whether you used defenses or erected walls in an attempt to handle the situation.

Part 3: Experiencing

Describe the sensations in your body associated with each of the above reactions.

I.e., how did you physically experience your feelings...anger, anxiety, happiness, etc.

Which defenses did you rely on (e.g., helplessness, people pleasing, compliance, withdrawing, exploding in an impulsive discharge of physically destructive  impulses, etc)?

Part 4: Analysis

How would you like to handle a similar situation in the future?

2) Self-Care Essentials

Take an interest in your self

Notice feelings, anxiety, and when you are dis-regulated

Label  each

Identify ways your feeling or anxiety is manifesting itself in your body

If Anxiety:

  Use Breathing Exercise to minimize or eliminate it (and to calm/re-regulate)

Identify feelings that surface once anxiety has been decreased

Allow yourself to experience those feelings In Your Body

Connect your feelings with the “trigger event” (i.e., thought, interaction, observation, or memory) that stimulated the feelings and/or anxiety

Verbalize the feeling(s) (e.g., “I feel angry”)

Verbalize the causal variable (e.g. “I feel angry when I am ignored” or “I don’t like being ignored and being ignored makes me feel angry")

Notice defenses (e.g., intellectualization, rationalization, angry outburst, urge to cheat or gamble, urge to leave, food cravings, sleepiness, drop in mood, etc.)

Work backwards to unearth the feelings underneath

Explore feelings, causality, and allow yourself to experience the feelings in your body

Expand the feeling: make it bigger, deeper, let it take up more space; inhabit it

Take seriously your desire and right to feel good

Make understanding yourself a priority

Make your HEALTHY relief a priority

Remember: Comfort comes from Feeling your Feelings (ALL of them)

3) Mindful Awareness References

Mindfulness in Plain English (B.H. Gunaratana) 

The Mindful Path to Self-compassion (C. K. Germer)

Parenting from the Inside Out (D. J. Siegel)

The content on this site does not constitute medical advice, medical treatment or a patient-doctor (fiduciary) relationship.