Dr. Robin L. Kay

Self-Defeating Patterns

Dr. Kay treats conditions including compulsive spending.

 

 

We tolerate that which we believe we cannot change. Your distress doesn't have to be tolerated.

 

 

The following symptoms can be eliminated through effective psychotherapy: 


 

DEVALUATION: Treating others better than you treat yourself or treating everyone else as though they are beneath you

OBJECTIFICATION: Taking care of your appearance but ignoring your important feelings (measuring your worth by your appearance)

MINIMIZATION: Not expressing yourself honestly or in the precise way you want to or should because you don't take yourself seriously

EXCESSIVE DRINKING: drinking alcohol to "cope with" or temporarily distract from anxiety and difficult feelings or situations

DRUG ADDICTION:  reliance on drugs to "cope with" or temporarily distract from anxiety and difficult feelings, situations or people

COMPULSIVE OVER-EATING: eating to avoid or "cope with," or bind anxiety and distract from other problems; eating to excess

COMPULSIVE SPENDING: spending money on clothes, cars, watches, wine...as a way to boost the ego, avoid, or "cope" 

COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: having little or no control over gambling activities; wanting to stop gambling but not being able to quit

POOR COPING SKILLS: relying on distractions instead of facing and handling problems (see Defense Mechanism section)

FEELING AVOIDANCE: avoiding feelings altogether (your own and/or the feelings of others you should care about)

EXHIBITIONISM: wealth flaunting or other exhibitionistic behavior as a way to elevate your mood or distract from anxiety and feelings

IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEMS: relying on angry outbursts or addictions to distract from and discharge anxiety and aggression

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Relationship Difficulties

Dr. Kay treats relationship problems and intimacy issues, whether it be in couples or individual therapy.

 

 

We tolerate that which we believe we cannot change. A DISSATISFYING RELATIONSHIP doesn't have to be tolerated.

 

I help people overcome intimacy difficulties.

 

The following symptoms can be eliminated through effective psychotherapy: 

 

INTIMACY AVOIDANCE: rejecting partners who really ARE good enough but always having a “reason” to justify the rejection

COMMITMENT PROBLEMS: inability to make a plan, take a relationship or project to the next step, or to “lean in” to a commitment

INFIDELITY: cheating or being unfaithful to a spouse or romantic partner by having flirtations or affair in person or electronically

SEXUAL DIFFICULTIES: sexaholism, sexual avoidance, reliance on roles (e.g. dominance and submission) to avoid face to face intimacy

CONFLICT AVOIDANCE: not telling your spouse, partner, friend, boss, or doctor what you really think or feel or want to keep the peace

PASSIVITY: going along with others when you really don’t want to, not taking action or speaking up when you should

PASSIVE AGGRESSION: saying “YES” when you want to say “NO” and then not following through and doing what you said you would do

SABOTEURISM: a pattern of defeating relationships or an inability to enjoy or sustain the love you have

SADISM: choosing partners whom you use, abuse, neglect, mistreat, or refuse to commit to

MASOCHISM: choosing partners who use, abuse, neglect, mistreat, or refuse to commit to you

WORKAHOLISM: maintaining physical or emotional distance in relationships by devoting excess time and mental energy to work

L.A. SYNDROME: attraction to “bad boys” or “bad girls” or enjoying being a “bad boy” or a “butterfly”; being seduced by the bosoms, bling or bank account and/or always looking for better

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Problematic Coping Strategies

 

Dr. Kay helps with problematic coping strategies.

 

 

We tolerate that which we believe we cannot change. Your distress doesn't have to be tolerated.

 

 

The following symptoms can be eliminated through effective psychotherapy: 


 

EXCESSIVE DRINKING: drinking alcohol to excess

DRUG ADDICTION: over-reliance on or abuse of prescription or recreational drugs

IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEMS: relying on angry outbursts, addictive behaviors, and temporary releases to distract and discharge anxiety and aggression

COMPULSIVE OVER-EATING: eating more than is necessary to satisfy physiological hunger

COMPULSIVE SPENDING: spending money on clothes, cars, watches, wine, etc. as a way to boost the ego and bind anxiety

COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: having little to no control over gambling activities; wanting to stop gambling but not being able to

POOR COPING SKILLS: relying on distractions instead of facing and handling problems (see Defense Mechanism section)

FEELING AVOIDANCE: avoiding feelings altogether (your own and/or the feelings of others you should care about)

PSYCHOSOMATIC CONDITIONS: suffering from physical symptoms without an identifiable medical cause (e.g. irritable bowel syndrome, chronic fatigue, migraine headaches, nausea, etc.)

EXHIBITIONISM: wealth flaunting or other exhibitionistic behavior as a way to elevate your mood or distract from anxiety.

 

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Mood & Emotional Difficulties

Depression and anxiety are some of the mood and emotional difficulties Dr. Kay treats.

 

 

 

We tolerate that which we believe we cannot change. Your distress doesn't have to be tolerated.

 

 

The following symptoms can be eliminated through effective psychotherapy: 

 

 

ANXIETY: a buzzing internal energy usually associated with worry and unease that decreases your enjoyment of your work, relationships, leisure time or life

PANIC SYMPTOMS: an overwhelming sense of fear and dread that can be regular or infrequent that decreases your enjoyment of your work, relationships, leisure time or life

DEPRESSED/LOW MOOD: a pervasive negative perspective often including hopelessness about the future

LOW SELF-ESTEEM: having a poor opinion of yourself: your attractiveness, intelligence, value, importance, stature, level of success, etc.

BODY IMAGE DISTORTION: perceiving yourself as not being thin or attractive enough or dwelling negatively on parts of your body you perceive to be unsightly

PERFECTIONISM: expecting yourself or others to be “perfect” often resulting in an over-investment of time spent trying to perfect an outcome

JUDGMENTAL BEHAVIOR & FAULT FINDING: excessively finding fault in yourself or in others frequently leading to relationship conflict or depression

OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS: being plagued by repetitive thoughts about events or people which interfere with your ability to focus effectively, fulfill your responsibilities, achieve greater success and enjoy your life to the fullest

COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS: engaging in excesses in eating, drinking, spending and sexual liaisons that you feel unable to stop despite the negative consequences (including the anxiety and shame associated with the fear of getting caught)

 

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Parenting Difficulties 

Parenting difficulties and problem children can be improved with help from Dr. Kay.

 

Kids push our buttons...

Life seems to be going along just fine. Then you have children, and eventually your symptoms begin: a short fuse, irritability, excessive worry, low energy, blue mood….the list goes on. Of course there are real pressures we all face when we begin raising children. However, children have the potential to trigger in us the unresolved emotions from our own childhoods. And if we don’t have the knowledge or resources to process those rising emotions, we develop psychological symptoms. The good news is that with effective help from an expert, you can quickly get to the bottom of the problems that are causing your symptoms and get your life and your moods back on track. In other words, you can, with the help of an expert, put an end to your symptoms, your suffering and the suffering you may be causing others.

Only after this success in therapy will you be able to change your way of treating yourself and the important people in your life. After resolving your own psychological difficulties, you will be able to maximize the likelihood that you will not traumatize your children. Only by dealing with your past and present emotions properly can you avoid traumatizing your children. the outcome of effective psychotherapy will positively impact your life and the lives of future generations.

 

 

 

 

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