Self-Defeating Patterns

Dr. Kay treats conditions including compulsive spending.



We tolerate that which we believe we cannot change. Your distress doesn't have to be tolerated.



The following symptoms can be eliminated through effective psychotherapy: 


DEVALUATION: Treating others better than you treat yourself or treating everyone else as though they are beneath you

OBJECTIFICATION: Taking care of your appearance but ignoring your important feelings (measuring your worth by your appearance)

MINIMIZATION: Not expressing yourself honestly or in the precise way you want to or should because you don't take yourself seriously

EXCESSIVE DRINKING: drinking alcohol to "cope with" or temporarily distract from anxiety and difficult feelings or situations

DRUG ADDICTION:  reliance on drugs to "cope with" or temporarily distract from anxiety and difficult feelings, situations or people

COMPULSIVE OVER-EATING: eating to avoid or "cope with," or bind anxiety and distract from other problems; eating to excess

COMPULSIVE SPENDING: spending money on clothes, cars, watches, a way to boost the ego, avoid, or "cope" 

COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: having little or no control over gambling activities; wanting to stop gambling but not being able to quit

POOR COPING SKILLS: relying on distractions instead of facing and handling problems (see Defense Mechanism section)

FEELING AVOIDANCE: avoiding feelings altogether (your own and/or the feelings of others you should care about)

EXHIBITIONISM: wealth flaunting or other exhibitionistic behavior as a way to elevate your mood or distract from anxiety and feelings

IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEMS: relying on angry outbursts or addictions to distract from and discharge anxiety and aggression