Relationship Difficulties
Getty Images on Unsplash+
Interpersonal relationships are a huge part of our lives. They form the foundation of our social support networks which are crucial for our mental and physical well-being. There are many different kinds of relationships in our lives and each requires attention and maintenance. These include:
Romantic Relationships
Family Relationships
Friendships
Acquaintances
Rumi advises that you find the barriers you have built within yourself against love.
I found my barriers…
Now What?
Chained Heart: A Chosen Soul on Unsplash+
We all have the potential to erect barriers to love. Once you become curious & conscious of your barriers (or defense mechanisms), you can DECIDE which barriers you would like to work on eliminating so you can learn to love yourself and others more fully and more fearlessly.
If you—or your partner—experience any of the following relationship patterns or barriers, it is never too late to learn new skills to promote relationship success and mastery.
Intimacy Avoidance: rejecting partners who really ARE good enough and always having a “reason” to justify rejecting a suitable partner
Commitment Problems: inability to make a plan, take a relationship or project to the next step, or to “lean in” to a commitment
Infidelity: cheating or being unfaithful to a spouse or romantic partner by regular flirting, having affairs, or by diluting the intimacy in other ways including keeping multiple relationships in play at the same time
Sexual Difficulties: sexaholism, sexual avoidance, reliance on roles (e.g. dominance and submission) to avoid face to face intimacy
Conflict Avoidance: not telling your spouse, partner, friend, boss, or doctor what you really think or feel or wanting to “keep the peace” at any cost, even if you suffer as a result of it
Passivity: going along with others when you really don’t want to, not taking action or speaking up when you should
Passive Aggression: saying “YES” when you want to say “NO” and then not following through and doing what you said you would do
Saboteurism: a pattern of defeating relationships or an inability to enjoy or sustain the love you have
Sadism: choosing partners whom you use, abuse, neglect, mistreat, or refuse to commit to
Masochism: choosing partners who use, abuse, neglect, mistreat, or refuse to commit to you
Workaholism: maintaining physical or emotional distance in relationships by devoting excess time and mental energy to work
“Dr. Robin Kay is masterful in her understanding of relationship ruptures and repair pathways. As a relationship scholar, and innovative thinker, she has helped countless people improve their relationships with themselves and with those dear to them in her roles as a mentor and voluntary professor. ”